When I had my first baby, I wasn’t quite sure what to do. I was so unprepared for the whole experience and I didn’t know how to ask for the help I needed – if I could even articulate what that was. I figured people would just know what to do.
If you don’t know what you need and don’t know how to ask for what you need, you will be doing way more than you should be doing. If you are one of those strong-willed mamas (I happen to be one of those) that denies needing help or figures that it will be easier to do it yourself, well…you might learn the hard way.
We weren’t meant to do this alone. We were not meant to have a baby and do everything by ourselves without support, guidance or both. Maybe you’re thinking “it’s ok, I have a wonderfully supportive partner”. Well, that might be enough. However, the chances are that your supportive partner doesn’t know what to do either. Somehow, as the generations moved on, we lost the art of community support. Families used to rally around new mothers, helping with meals and other children and recovery. Mothers and babies were left to bond, breastfeed and recover from the childbirth experience, knowing that their aunts, mother, sisters, neighbors were there to pick up the slack. It’s not like that anymore. Well, I’m sure it’s like that somewhere, but it is no longer the expectation. We are almost offended by the offer of help, as if it is the universe’s way of telling you that you aren’t good enough. I think it’s time that it circled back around again, and we appreciated this for what it is – a celebration of bringing a baby into the world and supporting the new family as they learn the parenting ropes.
This week Dianne and Abby talk all about partner support and how this looks. Check it out here: